Moonlight Revelation
by Suzunomiko
Summary: Beast Boy has a secret, one that's tearing him up inside. He trusts Robin with his tears, but will he trust him with the secret that caused them? Eventual YAOI RobinBeast Boy
1. Emerald Tears

(Blame Beast Boy for Mozenrath's recent hiatus. It's all his fault.)

He rested there in the moonlight, laid out on his back with arms and legs askew as if were a willing sacrifice upon the sandy stones of the seashore of our island. His uniform was gone; he prefers his pajamas at night, much at odds with the rest of us; and his bare chest shone through the unbuttoned top that fell over his shoulders lazily yet still clung on from the water. The moonlight made him look like a delicate beauteous jade statue lying helpless and dangerously close to the waves that splashed him ceaselessly, his eyes tearing from the cold or the salt or something else entirely. The white of his nightclothes contrasted sharply against the green and only served to enhance the illusion of him being something more than human. Even his hair, in that slightly bluish green tint that is mirrored in his eyes, made him appear unearthly and fey-like.

I found myself approaching him cautiously, remembering well his animalistic reactions to my presence when I am not wanted; with friends nearby he simply ignored me, but alone and vulnerable he would bolt full of fear and only come out of his room again when he had regained his false mask of endless mirth. Fear of what, I had no way of knowing. After that he would act as if the disturbing encounter had not occurred at all and ignore my questions of why he had fled from me, looking as if he expected me to do him great harm.

I was no more than ten paces away when a delicately pointed ear twitched and he sat up and faced me, that same wild look in his wide and shining emerald eyes. We stared at one another; him dreading that I would come closer and me that he would flee and leave me with more questions and no satisfying answers. It seemed like hours went by, and then, slowly, he relaxed and bowed his head, seemingly embarrassed of his fears of me. His slight nod bade me to his side, and I pulled my cape around us both; he was shivering something terrible and I feared he may become ill. His body was freezing cold against mine and he pressed close as he could to me to share my warmth. We remained sitting like that a while. The tremors of his slender form slowed as he grew warmer or less nervous of me being so close to him. The tears still fell though; large and hot and utterly heartbreaking to see.

He was definitely crying, having come out here to be alone to do it where Raven's telepathy couldn't sense his misery. Suddenly I felt contemptible for coming out to check on him, as if I had purposely broken into his sanctuary and drug him out wailing and struggling into a light he wasn't quite ready to face yet. But as I lightly strained to rise and leave him be he clung to me, silent desperation begging me with unnatural intensity to stay. I do stay, and he buried his face in my shoulder and proceeded to weep, loud and sincerely and with the most wretched of sounds emitting from a mouth that I was not accustomed to hear utter anything but laughter. He kept going until his throat went dry and he started to quiet, but only because his voice was now so sore he couldn't make any more noise. The tears and tremors continued unabated.

I wanted to ask what was wrong, why he did this and why he chose to show me his misery, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt him. Somehow I knew that he had to get it out of his system and cleanse himself of it, if only for one night. So I just held him and waited. Eventually he wept himself into an exhausted and fitful sleep in my arms, still trembling and clinging to me even unconscious. Forever it seems that I sat there, unable to move for fear that I would wake him and it'd start again. He looks unusually pale to me, his hair clashing with his skin because of the drastic change of color. I know he had to be getting the beginning stage of a fever and I was forced to carry him back to the tower. He was light... disturbingly so. It was amazingly easy to pick him up. Even though he was thin and wiry in build he definitely should have been heavier than that.

It scared me. Before walking away from the crashing waves I made a mental note to have Cyborg give him an exam in the medical lab tomorrow. He had to be suffering some kind of physical effect of this melancholy. That was the only explanation for the color change, the messier than usual state of his hair, and the weight loss.

I had to take my secret entrance to get to my room with him so the others wouldn't see and wonder how he had come to be drenched and freezing, exhausted from crying and unconscious in my grasp. I didn't even want to think of the questions that would bring out of them. Since the time I'd pretended to be Red X to get at Slade they have never quite trusted me, and I couldn't say that I blamed them. Were the situation to come up I had no doubt that between me and Beast Boy they would choose to believe him.

But what would he tell them were he to wake now? What would he say about what had just occurred, or would he say anything at all? I doubted that he would tell anyone of this. He was in pain. From what I didn't know, but it was private enough that he's afraid to speak to any of us about it.

He wanted to tell me. He sorely wanted to tell me, to be sure that it would be safe to tell me whatever's eating at him. But he doesn't trust me and for some reason, is afraid of me altogether. I hated seeing him so miserable, him who above all the others strives to appear happy and laughing no matter what, if only to make the rest of us feel there was hope. Even Raven had taken a liking to his outward attitude, though I'm sure she'd admit herself to an institution before admitting it.

I found it hard to believe that Raven hadn't sensed the turmoil and pain within Beast Boy, or that she hadn't told any of us about it when she had. But then again we didn't really pay much attention to him in that aspect. Cyborg passed him off as annoying most times, and Starfire mostly tolerated him with the blind courtesy that she allowed most things on Earth she considered odd or too simple. But they loved him. They appreciated him, just as I did.

But now, holding him limp and unaware in my arms, I came to the gut-wrenching realization that he may not know any of us wanted him here at all; that we had never let him see our adoration of how hard he tried to keep us all happy. Ever. He was frustrating at times and when we were all working on our respective projects he often had nothing to do. He'd go through the tower prodding each of us one by one to play with him, such an innocent request. And then we would always turn him away rudely, sometimes cruelly, until he was left with no option but to go to his room and... What DOES he do in his room after we turn him away? I thought carefully on it and my stomach suddenly felt like it was full of lead. I had passed by his room once on such an afternoon... heard something I didn't quite recognize then passed on uninterested. Now I knew what it was. Beast Boy had been crying. He had been in his room mourning because of the friends that wouldn't even give him the courtesy of a straight answer instead of shouting at him.

I felt something in me that I hadn't felt since I'd lost someone very dear to me; grief. I hated myself for what I'd allowed to happen to the heart of us all. The one that laughed and bounced happily through the tower on a daily basis just to make us smile despite ourselves, even while he suffered inside from craving the attention and simple acknowledgement we had never allowed him. Wanting nothing more to be close to us and be a part of our lives. It sickened me, and I grasped him closer.

The lift stopped and opened, and I shifted him to make sure I had a good grip before I walked on.

Once inside I set him on my sofa and brought a towel to wring the frosted moisture from his hair. His pajamas were wet and stiffened from the cold, and they had to come off if he was not to catch a worse fever than he had already, so I pulled off the top that was already dangling precariously from his shoulders. Even unawares he shifted and moaned, disapproving of what I had done. It was no secret between all the Titans that Beast Boy didn't like to be touched, though he would never tell us why.

Honestly it was well known that he kept his past hidden more fiercely than I did.

His frown was bothersome to me; I had seen him unhappy so few times that it made him look unnatural and unhealthy, the shadows caused by the crease in his forehead making him look gaunt and frail. And yet even looking so he appeared so much younger in his sleep; like a little boy and not the young man of fifteen as I knew him to be.

Unknowing of why I did I soothed him while he slept; my hands gently dabbed the white droplets of seawater from his skin and rubbed the warmth back into what parts of his body were as yet spared the frigid grasp of wet and shrinking cloth, no doubt itching from salt and sand. He calmed marginally, and naught but an odd whimper left him as I undressed him fully, then quickly enclosed him in my blankets. Seeming to sense his vulnerable state he hunched into an almost fetal position to sleep, pulling the fabric of the blankets so tight around him that I feared for a moment he may have been unable to breathe. Still he shook with uncontrollable tremors, light though they may be.

It puzzled me. He was warm now, and rested more peacefully. Why did he tremble so? I sighed, thinking it perhaps a side effect of his emotional outburst. I carried him carefully as I could to my bed and tucked him in tight as he seemed to like. For a good while I just watched him, bottom lip caught awkwardly between his teeth, one little fang standing out starkly against his skin. His ears twitched; I had never noticed before how often they twitched; and it seemed to me he could hear things that either I couldn't hear or in actuality were not there at all. Finally he calmed completely, slumbering deeply and totally relaxed. The sight made me smile sadly, remembering the terrible sound of his cries, feeling glad that at least in oblivion of darkness he could find some sort of repose and comfort. Comfort that he was so obviously terrified to take in me.

My bedside clock read three a.m. and I yawn just knowing it was so late... or early. I spared my friend one last look before moving to the settee and laying down to rest myself before dawn. He wasn't snoring and I found that odd. I was far too tired to think it over at that moment, and slowly let my eyes close. Just before Darkness took me, I could have sworn I heard him crying again.

(Please review?)


	2. Even Titans Sometimes Fall

(Teen Titans does not belong to me, but I DO have Beast Boy in my closet and they'll have to pay ransom to get him back from me. Moze needs a break, he's tired. Sorry but he's mad and won't talk to me temporarily. Enjoy!) 

As soon as I found myself asleep I heard my alarm go off and for once I was pissed at myself for setting it so damn early. Five a.m. was no time to wake on a Saturday, no matter HOW hard you had to train to keep yourself in the proper shape for your particular line of work. Feeling my stiff neck I winced, and momentarily I forgot how I ended up on the sofa. Then I heard Beast Boy moan over on my bed. Immediately after that my bedside clock was flung onto the wall with incredible force and it fell to the floor, broken. That made me stand abruptly and glare. So that's why he went through so many alarms...

My frustration over the clock was short-lived though. I saw Beast Boy curled up in my bed, sort of. He'd managed to make himself a nest, literally, out of the sheets and pillows and anything else he'd been able to get a hold of sometime during the night. Even the mattress cover had been pulled off and made a part of the tightly packed circular encasement. I recognized nothing of him but a barely noticeable tuft of bluish green hair poking out from under the blanket that covered a small bulge in the center. He had to have curled himself up to the size of a pillow to really fit in there, and I briefly wondered if he were really that flexible.

I gulped down my laugh at the sight and had to bite my lip to do it. He denied it vehemently every time any of us brought it up, but Beast Boy's animalistic tendencies were adorable. One of which being the definite form of a nest on his bed every morning, one that he straightened out the moment he woke up so we wouldn't tease him about it.

Tease... Once again I noted the horror in our treatment of him. We teased him too much. It wasn't uncommon for Beast Boy to walk into the kitchen in the morning and make a gagging sound in surprise, smelling the bacon or ham or whatever Cyborg or I happened to be cooking. Then he'd turn and run back down the hall with his hand over his mouth and nose and hide in his room until we were done. We never let him eat first, even though he looked utterly miserable trying to bypass the grease splatters from Cyborg's bacon that he never cleaned up. At least I never made a big mess for him to have to stare at. I sighed deeply, and resolved to talk to him about all of it when he woke up.

But judging from his sleeping habits, it wasn't likely he'd wake up soon.

Stretching, I walked over to move the blanket back a little bit. It was making me nervous that he'd covered his entire head. It seemed logical to me that he wasn't getting enough oxygen that way, and that would certainly explain the state of his bedroom. If he couldn't smell it when he slept, then why should he have to clean it? The moment I touched the blanket he shifted suddenly, making me jump back. He turned, one leg now sticking out of the blanket all the way up to his mid-thigh. His upper chest was bared fully and both arms were wrapped firmly around the pillow that had been under his head. He looked very much a feral cat lounging in another cat's den, having taken it over just moments before.

I lifted an eyebrow, curious. So he's that sensitive while he sleeps, huh? If moving the blanket just that much had annoyed him, then what if... Against my better judgement I decided to test it and reached down, just barely brushing the tip of his ear with my finger. He moaned as if in pain and placed a hand to his forehead, trying to bat me away. I couldn't suppress my chuckle, and at that moment he shifted ever so slightly.

He was awake, and he stared blankly up at me through half lidded emeralds tinted just slightly the color of the sea. Undoubtedly he saw and recognized me the instant he woke, and his expression took on a slight edge of worry. He seemed to be waiting for something; some admonishment for his weakness last night or even a reprimand to his being in my room even though he'd had no choice in the matter. We stared evenly at one another, sharing nothing and everything at the same time. Soon he shifted gently and his nervousness began to radiate from him like light from a flame, emotion felt on my very skin as surely as the light would have been.

And still we stared. Eventually I could stand it no longer. He was waiting for me to make the first move, waiting for his so called leader to do something, anything so long as it would break this unbearably awkward silence. So break it I did. I reached out and took him into my arms again and carried him to the bathroom. He squirmed in mild protest, then simply turned his head away from me while I filled the sink with hot water. It was time for me to fix things the best way I knew how. I was going to learn all I could about Beast Boy and make him understand me in the process.

I began to bathe him myself with just a cloth, using the opportunity as an excuse to touch him and be near him and examine him close up in a way I never had before. His eyes avoided mine adamantly as I did this. He didn't like to be touched. Ever. It seemed that he was going to tolerate it from me for only a little while longer and I took the chance to memorize every inch of his torso and arms I could in the time he had already set for me in his mind. I ran the cloth over his salted skin, cleansing it of the grains of the beach, freeing it of the feeling of being tight and dry from the inside out. As the discomfort of his skin decreased it seemed that his discomfort of the situation increased. He would fidget a bit more with every inch I washed and tried to yank his hands out of mine more than once. But every time he did I slowed my pace and reduced the pressure of my touch until he calmed, and I began my casual exploration of his jade skin once again.

Finally, unwilling or too intolerant to allow me to touch him any more he yelped and wrenched his entire body away from me. I let him go, watching as he wrapped a towel around his near emaciated body and backed against a wall. He stood there tense and silent, panting from the exertion of willing himself still so long. I couldn't suppress a smile. I had felt it; the sheer amount of will he'd forced up to allow me as much time as he could, letting me be close and in direct contact even though the fear it founded in him almost caused him physical pain. And it was just then, looking at him looking back at me with calm eyes even though his body shook, I realized that he had wanted me to touch him.

We again found ourselves staring in complete silence for a good while, each of us again fearful of the same things we had feared when he'd first sat up on the rocks. He wanted to run, I could tell. His instincts were telling him to retreat and escape this other unpredictable teenaged boy who's real agitation was never displayed until it was too late to stop it. I remembered that I'd hurt Beast Boy once. I had been ranting about some insignificant thing and he'd said something that cut into me and pushed a button I hadn't known was there. That was the first time I'd snapped at any of my team. I was angry about a recent battle with Slade coming up useless after all my effort, and when Beast Boy couldn't stand me yelling at everyone any longer he'd stood in front of me and bowed.

"Yes, Master." he'd said nastily. He had every right to say it, the way I'd been acting. But it triggered something... and before I knew it Beast Boy had been flung across the room and hit the wall, unconscious. I'd hit him, hard. Just one swing and his jaw was broken on the left side. A hairline fracture, he'd been through much worse in battle, but it was unforgivable. That was the first night I'd spent strapped to a medical table in my own tower. They wouldn't forgive me for a good while, yelling at me for how wrong I had been to strike out at a team mate like that. To be honest I didn't remember the action itself, it had just happened like a reflex. Beast Boy had been alright, Raven had healed the minor wound easily, but he didn't speak for days afterward. Not to anyone. I think he might even have cringed when he walked past me for a while.

And after all that, he'd still clung to me in the dark last night and cried. He'd trusted me after what I'd done. The silence was wearing on him and he was fighting to stay still. I shook my head to clear it of any lingering doubts and smiled. He was eyeing me warily as I took his hand and lead him back into my room.

He didn't trust me now, not nearly as much as he had last night. His hand tremored in mine. I was losing my nerve more and more every second he displayed these signs of fear. I had to get this conversation started quickly and get him more comfortable if I was going to manage anything resembling an adequate apology. At this point I doubted anything would prompt him to forgive me, but I had to try. I sat on the bed and motioned for him to do the same. He took a breath and did so, a bit farther from me than I had anticipated. Oh well. Best get this over with.

"I'm sorry." I said. He looked at me oddly, not expecting me to just blurt it out like that. "I don't know exactly what made you so upset last night, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with me. I know I don't treat you like I should. None of us do. We don't do it on purpose though, and if there's anything-"

"No! It's not you it's..." he bit his lip. It was clear he was thinking of what to say, or even how to phrase it. "It's true that you guys aren't very nice to me sometimes, and it hurts. It hurts a lot. Cyborg is nicer to me than anyone else, but he only plays with me most of the time because he's an athlete still, and he likes the activity. We're really just fighting most of the time, over dumb things like my not eating meat and stuff. Star likes me the way she likes everyone; blindly. And even she chases me away. Raven..." he pauses to suppress a shudder. "...tolerates me. And you treat me like a teammate. Nothing more or less. Which is kind of more than I'd expected when I first got here. I know I'm annoying, and I get beat a lot when we fight, and that I'm not exactly normal looking... I can't walk around in normal clothes and not be seen like the rest of you. Even Cy can do that if he has his hologram thingy. No matter what it's sort of hard to miss a green midget walking around..."

"Beast Boy, I-"

He shook his head sharply. No. It wasn't my turn to speak. "My powers aren't as good as everyone else's, and I'm not as disciplined or as strong as you. I'm not smart like Cyborg, and I can't do magic like Raven. I can fly, but not very fast or very far like Star. For a while I felt like I didn't belong here... close to a year. Mostly when I lagged behind while you guys chased after a bad guy, and none of you noticed I was gone. I'd get to the battle to see it already finished, then end up walking back to the tower alone because you all left without me."

I had to use all my willpower not to collapse right there. What had I done? I'd allowed this! I hadn't even noticed! Even when he came to me later complaining... I was working on some plan or another and waved him away. But I couldn't say anything. He wasn't finished. He wasn't nearly as upset as me now, sitting there calmly telling me all this as if he were stating simple facts and not pouring his heart out to me. I watched him take a breath, then he continued.

"Then I realized there was nowhere else I could possibly belong, because no one else would accept me. You guys may not be the best of friends to me, but you are my only friends, and I wouldn't leave any of you for the world. So, yes you all hurt me quite frequently, and I accept your apology... but that's not why I was crying."

I closed my eyes a moment to absorb this, then bowed my head. "Beast Boy, I'm so sorry. I'm the leader! I should have-"

"Dude, you beat yourself up enough for all the bad guys in the world to take a permanent vacation. Don't do it on my account. It'll just make me feel worse."

I couldn't speak for a while. I was afraid my voice would break. And as much respect as I'd just found in my friend, I wouldn't allow him to hear it. Then, "Why were you crying last night? And why did you choose me?"

"I was having another nightmare." he stated bluntly. "And I didn't exactly choose you, Robin. You came out to me. I go out to the shoreline almost once a week, and I've been here for a long time: more than long enough for one of you to have noticed a while ago. But no one ever did, and if they did they didn't care enough to find out why." He shook his head and took a deep breath. "But you did. It took forever, but you noticed me. And... I'm grateful for that."

(What do you guys think? This doesn't seem OOC to me because this is what Beast Boy is really like to me, he just hides it so well. Nobody bothers to find out because he puts up such an impressive front. As far as I can tell, Robin has NOTHING on our dear Beast Boy.)


	3. Domestic Violence

((Sorry for leaving off at a cliffhanger before. This chapter will be moving quickly because that's just how it happened in my head. Also, I don't have too much time to write now, so I'm sorry if it took me a while to get this out.))

Robin's mind suddenly went blank. Grateful? Beast Boy was grateful, to HIM of all people? He simply couldn't fathom it at the moment. His mind was sluggish, as if he'd been drugged, and he just couldn't imagine why in the world a person he'd ignored and shouted at and above all treated like an ignorant child would be grateful to him. There was just no way. But then he looked disbelievingly into those eyes; those innocent playful, smiling eyes; and he just had to believe it. Those eyes wouldn't lie.

"Beast Boy, I..." He what? What could he possibly add on to that to express what he was feeling? He couldn't think of anything that would. Once again Beast Boy's child-like, note; Child-LIKE, not childish, view of people made him want to cry. He was forgiven, for everything, just like that. It made him shake his head. "I just don't understand you, Beast Boy. In a good way. You're... above me somehow."

The changeling tilted his head to the side, curious. "Above you? No way. I don't get it."

Robin smiled. "Neither do I, but it makes perfect sense to me. I can't explain it."

There came a little 'hn.' from the smaller boy. He didn't understand, but he was willing to let it go for the moment. Beast Boy yawned, still exhausted, and rose from the bed. He clutched the towel close to him, and Robin saw with amusement that it covered him from chest to knee. He hadn't noticed that before. Being short can be a blessing sometimes.

"I should go to my room before Raven wakes up and sees me in a towel... it might kill her." he drawled. Robin burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. That had been hilarious, and now Beast Boy was laughing with him, having just been struck by his unintentional humor. It was rare that he said something truly entertaining to Robin, and when it happened they were both immensely pleased.

Eventually their laughter died out, and they smiled at each other. One, relieved that he'd been noticed and the other grateful to have his friend back. Robin shook his head. "You'd better get to bed. You had a rough night." Beast Boy nodded, then turned to leave. Robin watched him go and collapsed onto his bed after the door had shut. What a night.

* * *

Later that day Raven was walking through the hall reading a book that floated lazily in front of her seemingly of it's own accord as she glided along on her way. She was silent as usual, gracefully levitating her way from point A to point B without so much as a second thought. Then, prompted to by a change in the general atmosphere of the area in question, she stopped in front of Beast Boy's door. It was past two p.m. and he was just starting to move around in there. Though that wasn't unusual in the least considering he was up all night most every night Raven was curious for another reason.

She knew what had happened between him and Robin. It hadn't been difficult to notice the sudden change in the both of them, especially since the emotional turmoil on Beast Boy's part had felt like the psychic equivalent to the Berlin Wall coming down. At least one side of it... the side that had been blocking out Robin.

Beast Boy was no longer radiating pathetically subdued mental distress signals (at least not on the scale that he'd been before), and Robin had been thinking about the green changeling a lot more than... all of them put together usually did. It was nice to know they had worked their issues with each other out. Still, she continued to receive uncomfortable feelings from the green boy every so often. It was worth looking into, if only for the stability of the team structure. She considered knocking for a fraction of a second then suddenly the bedroom door opened on it's own.

Beast Boy had his usual reaction to seeing Raven three inches away from his face unexpectedly: he yelped and jumped backwards. Unfortunately for him he had a decided lack of clear floor to jump backwards in and fell over a pile of junk, landing on another pile of something that seemed to make a distressed clanging sound on impact. Beast Boy reached under him and pulled out that damned monkey toy, then sweatdropped and tossed it into his closet.

Raven winced when she caught a whiff of the insides of that particular room, then gave him one of her best glares, deciding for his own safety that she should issue a command this time instead of merely a suggestion. "Clean. Your. Room." she growled, then sent him mental images of a public disembowelment starring him as incentive. Then she disappeared in a creepy black haze.

Beast Boy shuddered, then looked around. He took in the scene before him, the piles of things he could barely identify anymore, the uniforms piled upon more uniforms and the funky smells from cloistered corners. Then he smiled to himself.

"Yeah... I think I will."

* * *

Robin stood outside Beast Boy's door, trying his best not to type in his security override and go in without permission. Cyborg usually wasn't that mean when he fought with Beast Boy, but for some reason he'd been upset about something earlier in the day and all that repressed aggression eventually found a target: Beast Boy. The fight had started out innocently as it usually did, mostly playful insults hurled back and forth while the two tossed bits of tofu at one another. Then Beast Boy had said something that pertained to Bumblebee... and then Cyborg lost his damned mind. So much so that Raven and Starfire had to pull the hulking man off their smallest team member by force.

What Robin worked out was this: Something had happened between Cyborg and Bumblebee that didn't quite go as planned, and then Beast Boy had chosen an inconvenient time to be unusually perceptive. Robin's orders to Cyborg were that he was under house arrest for a few nights to work out his personal issues on his own, and Robin was sure he'd be answering for THAT one for quite a while. Cyborg really wasn't one that handled being bossed around by someone a third of his size well. All that aside, Beast Boy had locked himself in his room and was absolutely REFUSING to come out, or even answer when called on his communicator. Robin was positive Beast Boy had been shaken by the fight, and he was also pretty sure he'd been hurt as well. A Titan he may be, but Cyborg was a big guy. And when big guys get upset they become very, very dangerous.

Knocking again just for good measure, Robin sighed and punched in his code. He really hated to do this, but he needed to know what was going on in there... and Beast Boy wasn't helping. The door slid open faster than usual, and almost immediately Robin noticed that the track had been oiled. Strange... but even stranger was the fact that Beast Boy's room was clean.

Wait... BEAST BOY'S ROOM WAS CLEAN?

It was true. Robin blinked several times just to be sure, but he could actually SEE the carpet... and the walls... and the desk. At this point Robin made a mental note to ask Beast Boy exactly when he had gotten a desk. Especially since there were books on that desk. At this point Robin made a mental note to ask Beast Boy when he had gotten books. Disbelieving and of the opinion that he may be hallucinating, Robin tentatively stepped inside Beast Boy's room to look around.

"Umm... Beast Boy? You in here?" he asked, but received no answer.

Robin turned full-circle, taking in everything he could see. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and did it again. Nope, still clean. And still no Beast Boy. Not that he could see, at least. It was really amazing the places Beast Boy could hide when he felt like it, especially since he could be as small as he damn well pleased.

"Beast Boy, come on. I just want to see if you're alright." Robin coaxed. It wasn't likely the changeling would come out if he didn't want to, but he had to try. Then, he heard something. He certainly wouldn't have picked it up if he hadn't been listening, but the slight ruffle of cloth came from the bunk beds in the corner. Robin turned. The top bunk was piled with somewhat organized boxes, while the bottom bunk was... gone. Thick blankets were tacked to the support for the top bunk, obscuring view. Apparently Beast Boy had decided to go all the way and just make himself a cave.

"Beast Boy?" he asked, and pulled back the blanket. Robin's action was met by a snarl and a scratch from an as of yet unidentified green animal. He yanked his hand back and glared at the reflective eyes currently trying to stare him down. He still couldn't see what Beast Boy had decided to be, but it was small enough to hide in the 'nest' of blankets inside and had REALLY sharp claws. The growling continued, but it had a slightly desperate edge to it... as if he were being asked to leave.

"I know you want to be alone, but I need to see that you're not hurt." And when he received another growl in answer Robin sighed. "Please?"

The aggressive sound stopped... and soon Beast Boy appeared as himself, avoiding looking at Robin. He was kneeling in the nest, holding his balled right hand to his chest. There was a tear in his uniform, near his neck, and the fabric was tinged red. Robin swore, then pulled the blanket back further and climbed into the small space.

"You should have let me in... Let me see." he started, but Beast Boy jerked himself away when Robin tried to get closer. "Beast Boy, don't be like that. Not now, you need help."

"I'm fine." he argued tersely. "And you're invading my den. Just because you're the leader doesn't give you the right to go into my room without asking." As he spoke, Beast Boy clenched and unclenched his hand uncomfortably. His expression twitched painfully as he tried to make his fingers work right. Robin knew for a fact that his wrist was if not broken, then at the very least sprained.

"You know I wouldn't have if I didn't think you were hurt..." Robin said softly. He looked worried. "Let me take you to the medical room. Cyborg's under house arrest, so I really don't think he's coming out of his room until morning."

Beast Boy didn't answer. Robin waited for a good minute, hoping he'd come to a decision on his own. As upset as the changeling was Robin thought he would at least want something for the pain. Finally, Beast Boy's fingers refused to move anymore. Robin shook his head. Definitely broken.

"Come on." he said, reaching out and laying a hand on the smaller teen's shoulder. "I won't keep you there long."

Reluctantly, Beast Boy sighed and pulled back the blankets so he could stand. Robin smiled and led him out, noting the slight limp. If Beast Boy was going to need more than one cast, Cyborg was going to be working HARD if he wanted to keep his membership.


	4. Epiphany

It had been weeks since they last talked, Robin and Beast Boy. They had all been extremely busy rounding up the Hive's lackeys and keeping their usual villains under control as well. The stress had finally gotten to Raven, and for the past two days she'd been locked up in her room meditating, trying desperately to control the frustration that was causing her powers to erupt against her will. Judging from the hazy field of black around her door, she was going to be in there a while yet.

Cyborg had managed to get Beast Boy to forgive him amazingly easy. Even though Beast Boy was by nature an extremely forgiving person, even Starfire had not expected the apology to go as smoothly as it had. But even though he had forgiven his much larger and impulsive friend, Beast Boy had exhibited the same signs of hesitancy around Cyborg as he had around Robin. Beast Boy's cringing, avoidance of physical contact (more so than usual) and giving in far too easily during his and Cyborg's regular fights had worried Robin, but it had only lasted a few days. Both were back to their normal routine. Currently they were both collapsed on the couch, both too exhausted to play their video games because of a particularly vicious fight earlier in the evening.

Starfire had gone up to her room to bed already, and Robin was doing the dishes for the third time in a row. He was exhausted too, but nobody else was going to do it, so he might as well get it over with. Over the clinking of the dishes he vaguely heard a sleepy conversation between Beast Boy and Cyborg, but couldn't really make it all out. He only managed to recognize a few of the names when spoken.

Robin, Raven, Aqualad, Robin, Starfire, Robin, Robin, Cy, Robin.

Their tones were pleasant, so Robin didn't worry about the exact topic. Cyborg had been careful not to rile the changeling lately for obvious reasons, and Beast Boy was never much in the mood to fight anyway. It had been ages since the two had actually talked though, and Robin tried not to seem too anxious. His name was being mentioned an awful lot.

Eventually the voices died down, and Robin finished the dishes and put them away. While he did so he noticed that Cyborg was staring. He was sitting on the adjacent side of the couch, just watching the green boy while he slept. It seemed he was thinking hard about something unpleasant, as the brightness of his mechanical eye fluttered slightly every so often.

"Cyborg, something wrong?" he called lightly, so as not to wake Beast Boy.

The older teen gave him a solemn look, then shook his head. "He's not snoring. BB's been here a long time and I've never seen him sleep this peacefully before, have you?" Cyborg was hinting at something, though Robin wasn't quite sure what. He knew damn well that habits like that don't just change overnight unless something drastic has changed in the individual.

"I think he's just more comfortable here." Robin replied off-handedly, setting the last plate in the cabinet. If Cyborg was finally catching on to the change in Beast Boy, fine. But Robin wasn't going to encourage him to go prying into it. Beast Boy might not be able to handle much more interference. Robin tried his best not to seem too interested in what Cyborg had to say, but it probably wasn't working.

"That can't be it, man."

"So? We've all had a hard time lately. He's just tired." Robin shrugged, then sat down next to Beast Boy's head on the sofa, resisting the urge to smooth back the wildly unruly tangles of bluish-green inches away from him.

Cyborg shook his head. "You're not getting it. I think he's exhausted to the point where he has no energy to do anything else but lay there. No matter HOW hard the fights have been, he's never slept in the same position all night before. He's always been having those dreams." Cyborg reached out and smoothed back a bit of green hair. "He feels… different. Like something's fighting it's way out of him and he's trying his best to stop it. A lot like when he turned into that beast. His outward attitude is the same this time, he just FEELS off somehow."

Robin's attention was piqued now, and he leaned forward to hear Cyborg better as they were both whispering to keep from waking their friend. "You know about Beast Boy's nightmares?"

"Yeah… I know all about it. He sits on the rocks outside a lot after he has them, no matter what the weather is. It's like he can't stand to be inside anymore, like the walls terrify him. But the one time I asked him about it he just… ran. I tried to ask him why he ran away, but he avoided the subject like the plague. He didn't openly say it, but he absolutely refused to talk about it. Wouldn't even tell me why he didn't want to tell me either." Cyborg was good at keeping his emotions at bay, but Robin could hear in his voice that he was worried. Extremely so.

"How long have you known?"

"About three months. That's when I asked him. You?" Cyborg questioned.

"Just a few weeks. He ran from me too, a lot of times. But that was before I knew he was having the nightmares. I was just trying to talk to him. It always happened when we were alone and he was backed up against something. I thought it was just his instincts for a while: that he just felt closed in and panicked when I got too close to him too quickly. But then he did it again after I started approaching him in open places, like the middle of the training room. There was no way he could have felt closed in. I didn't want to believe it for a while, but Beast Boy was honestly afraid of me, at least when we were alone. He didn't trust me." Robin was musing almost to himself, but Cyborg knew better. Robbin didn't ramble.

"You're speaking in past tense. Did something change?"

"Yeah… I went and met him on the shore. He almost ran off again, but for some reason I still can't figure out he relaxed and let me get close to him."

"What happened?" Cyborg was asking him seriously.

"He… cried."

Everything was in his voice, and Cyborg picked it up well. They both frowned and stared at each other. The cerebral contact conveyed their thoughts through open space, and they were both just the same. Beast Boy was getting worse, and whatever it was it was very very bad. If the dreams were intensifying, which was the only explanation for this mental exhaustion, something was seriously amiss with their friend. His behavior wasn't too far off in the usual antics during the day… but that's all they were: antics. The mask was set firmly in place, revealing nothing of what was really going on inside. This was like the calm before the storm: sooner or later the dam would break and all sorts of horrid things would flood out, severely damaging or even destroying everything in it's wake.

Cyborg sighed deeply, then closed his eyes to think. "What to do..?"

Robin thought as well. Beast Boy needed help, fast. They didn't need to be psychiatrists to figure that out. "We can't ask Raven, Beast Boy's petrified of her. There's no way he'd let her inside his head willingly."

"But he won't tell us anything either. He doesn't trust us enough to tell us. I don't think he has anyone at all that he really trusts."

Beast Boy stirred minutely, and both teens held their breath. It was a few moments before they were sure he still slept and wasn't listening to them. They let out a collective breath of relief then resumed their conversation.

"I think we're all mostly to blame for that. We're not exactly model friends sometimes." Before Cyborg could open his mouth to apologize again for his lapse, Robin raised a hand to silence him. "I mean all of us. Including me. We ignore him a lot, we never really take what he says seriously to heart, and we don't look out for him enough when we fight… even though he just isn't as strong as the rest of us. I may not have any powers, but I can take more damage than Beast Boy and still keep going. Beast Boy can't do that. It isn't that he doesn't train enough, he just can't. We all know he loves what we do and wouldn't give it up for anything, but he's just not meant to fight like the rest of us. He's too innocent."

"True that." Cyborg agreed solemnly. "He's really the heart of the team. Even when Star's out of commission in the cheer factor, BB's still going strong for the rest of us. He may not be much of the raw power of the group, but we need him. He keeps us all sane, and we'd just fall apart without him."

"But do we ever actually tell him that?" Robin broke in, sounding positively wretched. "Look at him, Cyborg. If we asked him now if he really thought we needed him here what would he say?"

Robin's question hit hard, almost to the point of physical weight. The answer was painfully obvious: No. He'd take the question as a hint and they'd never see him again. He'd be gone immediately.

"So what do we do about it?" Cyborg mused. "We can't change suddenly, or he'll feel awkward, like we're trying to fake it just to keep him here so he won't be left out. He'll feel like he's our obligation, not our friend."

Robin sighed. He wanted to prove to Beast Boy he was wanted, but he wasn't quite sure how to go about it without risking scaring him away. Robin had known he was attracted to boys for quite some time, but he'd never really LOOKED at Beast Boy until just recently. Now that he had a good lock on him, it wasn't likely he'd be able to curb his feelings for long. His morals had him set on admitting his feelings as soon as possible. Keeping secrets of this particular nature could be dangerous, and he didn't want anyone getting hurt because he felt insecure. However, there was a definite chance that no matter HOW he admitted his attraction to Beast Boy the changeling would not react well.

Cyborg waited so long for Robin to answer that he ended up switching to backup power… then finally Robin stood, picking up Beast Boy and walking off with him. Before he went through the hall arch to the bedrooms he turned back to Cyborg and said something unexpected.

"I know what to do."


	5. Truth Only

Robin stood at the threshold of Beast Boy's bedroom door, purposely lingering just outside in favor of holding on to the smaller boy just a little longer. What Cyborg had said was absolutely right: Beast Boy was just laying there in Robin's arms as still as death. He actually had to look closely to see if Beast Boy was still breathing, when not too long ago it was near impossible not to notice the snoring. This was bad.

And it was steadily getting worse.

Silent as ever, Robin made his way to the set of bunk beds in the corner and shifted the changeling in his arms slightly so that he could move the blankets back to set him down. As soon as his head touched the pillow Beast Boy curled up, grabbing hold of Robin's hands and waking with a loud yelp.

"Don't!" he shrieked, then his eyes focused and he just FROZE. "R-Robin?"

"Who were you talking to?" Robin asked in a very flat tone.

"Not you." Beast Boy answered in a like manner. It was obvious he was not going to elaborate on it. The changeling matched his team leader glare for glare for a few moments, then shook his head and lay back down, releasing Robin's hands. "Thanks for bringing me here. Cy usually carries me in, and he keeps tearing the blankets down."

The change in conversation was irritating, but allowed. Robin smiled sadly and sat down on the bed. "Can't sleep like that, huh?" Beast Boy shook his head drowsily… he was already nodding off again. "I think… maybe you should take it easy for a while. Let the rest of us handle the fights until you get better."

Eyes widening in horror, Beast Boy sat up again. "You don't mean…! No! No, please! I'll be better! I can still fight! I just-"

"Hey! Woa! I'm not kicking you off the team, Beast Boy. I just don't want you to get hurt." Robin smiled reassuringly at the changeling, as his bottom lip was doing the most adorable, albeit involuntary trembles he'd ever seen from someone over three years old. "I swear. I want you to relax and recover from this, because we need you. You're as much a part of this team as the rest of us, even though it appears in different ways."

"You… you mean it? You guys really want me here?"

The tone was disbelieving and skeptical. Just what Robin had been dreading, yet expected to hear. "I can't stress enough how much we all need you here, Beast Boy. I know we don't tell you enough, but we do."

Beast Boy closed his eyes, seeming to try and absorb this. "Alright." He whispered.

Robin smiled and leaned over, smoothing back the changeling's constantly unruly hair. "Go to sleep." He ordered gently. Beast Boy's lips curled up just slightly, and he did.

Robin left, frowning. He couldn't get that shriek out of his head.

* * *

Robin looked around the common room at all of his team members, standing in front of the half-circle couch. Starfire and Raven were sitting just shy of three feet away from each other on his left side, then Cyborg sat at his right. Beast Boy was sitting just in front of him in the middle, a good distance away from anyone. He looked totally wiped out, exhausted beyond anything they'd ever seen before… and he had just woken up half an hour ago. Sometime during the night, after Robin had carried him to bed, Beast Boy had alerted the entire tower with his terrified screams. Nothing Robin had ever heard could compare with that sound. It wasn't the sound of fear alone, it was the agonized, humiliated and desperate cry of one abused and near death. Robin was still feeling physically sick from hearing it, not to mention near mad from curiosity as to what could possibly cause a person to sound like that.

All of them were looking at him oddly, as he'd never called a meeting quite like this before. Nothing was going on in the city, nobody had escaped from jail and the Tower was running perfectly, so there was really no reason to have a meeting at all. They were all nervous and fidgeting, especially Beast Boy, who believed this meeting was taking place so they could all discuss whether or not he should be allowed to remain a Titan in this condition. Just two days ago he'd discovered that he was too exhausted to morph into most of his larger forms. Since then he'd been banned from battle until his health improved… at the same time Robin had assured him he would not cease being a member of the team no matter what. Still, he was dubious.

Robin looked at them appraisingly, then put his hands on his hips and smiled.

"I suppose you're all wondering why I dragged you away from the arcade when there aren't any bad guys about, huh?" he started with good humor. Relieved, they relaxed and settled down to listen to what he had to say, reasonably sure he wasn't about to dismiss or reprimand someone. "There have been a few behavioral issues within the team, and I've gathered you all here to see what we can do about improving relationships between us all as friends. I know we all have our secrets to keep, and I'm not going to force anyone to speak out if they don't want to. Consider this a game of sorts. Truth or Dare without the Dare. I'll start and we'll all take turns telling little things about ourselves."

"This isn't one of your little tricks, is it? I'm not going to participate in another fiasco like Cyborg's initiation." Raven scowled. Beast Boy snickered and Cyborg blushed a bit. Never let it be said that Robin wasn't disgustingly creative.

"Ummm… no." Robin said, a little shamefacedly. "Though I am warning you guys to be serious about this… as we possibly can be. I may have to redefine the word 'share'."

This brought on a smattering of laughter from most everyone, and a shy smile from Raven. Heroes or not, teenagers are extremely unpredictable in their choice of wording, especially when raised under troubled circumstances and out in cities facing crime every day. In short, all who were brought up in clean, Christian households must be strongly advised NOT to play scrabble with the Teen Titans. They tend to be a bit more vulgar than the average American (or even alien) pre-adult.

"Why are you playing games with us all of a sudden, Robin?" Beast Boy asked. His voice brought a worried glance from those near him, as he sounded as ill as he looked. The voice was cracked and dry, always brought forcefully since it didn't want to work on it's own. The tone was amused though, so Robin just smiled at him.

"I think each of us needs to give our heart a little exercise."

Grinning good-naturedly, Beast Boy shook his head in confusion. "Whatever you say, dude."

"Alright, my turn first." Robin started in a cheerful way. He walked over and sat next to Beast Boy, ignoring it when the smaller form inched away from him nervously since he'd sat close enough to touch. "I know Raven already knows this: but I was born into the Circus life. My parents and big brother were acrobats, as was I. I could turn a mean mid-air summersault when I was five."

Cyborg snickered. "Really? That would explain the goofy costume."

"Shut up, Cy. At least Robin WEARS a costume. You fight in the buff." Beast Boy countered.

"Oh, I love it when you talk dirty." Cyborg smirked, leaning closer to the diminutive changeling.

"CYBORG! What did I say about being serious?" Robin immediately intervened, seeing as how Beast Boy had bared his fangs at the metal man and looked ready to kill. This brought a furious blush from Cyborg and a lot of laughter from the girls. Robin looked at Beast Boy appreciatively.

"Thanks." Robin said softly. It was nice to have anyone defend his costume, even if that person had made some of their own cracks at it in the past.

"Sure. No problem." Beast Boy answered.

"MY TURN MY TURN!" Starfire belted obnoxiously, yelling loud enough to make Raven's hair go as spiky as Robin's just from the wind created by it. While the seething goth girl tried in vain to fix her hair, Starfire beamed at everyone. "On the day I was born my parents beheld a most glorious sight! I had much orange fur on my legs! On Tamaran it is a great sign of strength, courage and many natural wiles for a child, especially a girl to be born with fur! It was a sign of things to come and a great gift of X'hal!"

There was a unanimous sweatdrop and amazed stare from her teammates, then Cyborg cleared his throat and snickered again. "Well, today's just full of surprises, isn't it? My turn?" At Robin's nod he continued. "I admit that I miss my old body, and that I hate the one I have sometimes, but I do have one thing I LOVE about it! I can take off an arm or a leg and just LEAVE it somewhere for a new kid to find their first time in the tower! Remember when Aqualad saw my leg on the kitchen counter for the first time? He jumped back so far that he fell right through the doors!"

Even Raven honestly smiled at that one. "I… think I'll pass."

"Right." Robin conceded, expecting that from her for the first few rounds. "Beast Boy?"

"Ummm…" he stammered. "I don't really know what to tell. You guys make fun of my real name enough as it is."

"Just pick something, Garfield." Cyborg pressed haughtily.

Beast Boy and Robin sent him a glare, then Beast Boy sighed and seemed to think for a minute. "I think… I should just show you. I have a hobby that I haven't told any of you about, and I hope you won't get mad at me for it…"

"For what? How could a Hobby make us mad?" Starfire asked.

"Maybe he's spying on you two in the shower." Cyborg suggested. Raven began to glow after hearing that, and Beast Boy made the cutest little 'EEP!' and hid behind Robin.

"No WAY! I swear!" He yelped, then morphed into a Squirrel and climbed up onto Robin's shoulder, keeping a tight hold of his hair. Robin chuckled and watched the two battle it out: Raven glowing and growling at Beast Boy, while he in turn chattered and angrily flicked his tail at her. After a while she stopped, amused by his antics. No matter how mad you happen to be, it's very difficult to argue with squirrel banter.

"Come on, what is it?" Robin prodded gently, carefully picking the green squirrel out of his hair and setting it back on the couch. An instant later Beast Boy was back, suddenly looking nervous.

"I um… I'll go get them. Be right back!" And with that he quite literally flew from the room.

The remaining Titans all looked oddly at one another.

"Them?" Robin asked.

They shrugged.


	6. Game Over

"Come on, what is it?" Robin prodded gently, carefully picking the green squirrel out of his hair and setting it back on the couch. An instant later Beast Boy was back, suddenly looking nervous.

"I um… I'll go get them. Be right back!" And with that he quite literally flew from the room.

The remaining Titans all looked oddly at one another.

"Them?" Robin asked.

They shrugged.

* * *

Beast Boy reached under his bed to retrieve the metal box he kept his most private objects in. It was a simple box so that it would appear uninteresting and would not draw the eye. Were it not for the combination lock on the front, no one would ever feel the need to even wonder what was inside it. That's the way it was meant to be, because it would be terrible for Beast Boy if anyone broke into it and got into all of his treasures. Some things should only be shared willingly.

Like the things he was about to draw out of the box for Robin's demented version of 'truth or dare'. He wasn't completely sure he was ready to just hand them over to his friends, because for some reason he just couldn't figure out he still feared they might get mad at him for doing it in the first place. There was nothing for it now though, he had already promised to bring them something, and he would do just that.

Quickly the lock was undone and back on just as fast. Beast Boy had snatched what he needed instantly and shut the box back up… because even he didn't want to look at some of the things he had in there. Getting lost in his memories was something he tended to do quite often, and doing it now would cause his friends to worry. Especially since he'd promised to be right back with his secret.

Clutching the item to his chest carefully, Beast Boy walked back to the room where his friends waited for his return. As he often did when alone in the hall, he turned to look behind him at frequent intervals. He knew damn well that no one was there, but the feeling was intense. Nothing bothered him so much as being alone and unprotected in narrow places. It was far too similar to… that. The thing that he'd been dreaming about.

Beast Boy shuddered, then took a breath and plastered on his usual smile before opening the door to meet with his friends.

They had been waiting, a little… less than patiently. This was evidenced by the fact that when he opened the door he ran right into Robin, who had been about to go through the door himself, supposedly to check on the changeling. Beast Boy lost his footing, but just when he was about to topple over Robin caught fast to his waist and pulled him up… way up.

One of the painfully obvious things about Beast Boy is…

He's short.

Impressively short for his age, which he was probably lying about anyway. As far as the other Titans knew, Beast Boy was fourteen. Cyborg was almost twenty, and Robin, Starfire and Raven were eighteen. Beast Boy was the shortest Titan by far in the main group, by seven inches at the very least. They had all suspected he was younger than he was letting on at one time or another, but let it slide.

At the moment, Beast Boy was blushing an adorable shade of purple (He's green, think about it) while his chest was pressed against Robin's and his feet dangled about a foot off the floor.

"Ummm…" Beast Boy started. "Thanks. Now, could you put me down, Dude?"

Robin did, looking sheepish. "Sorry about that." He smirked. "Couldn't let you fall. You might have-"

"Hurt myself?" Beast Boy finished for him in a tight tone. "I'm sick, not fragile."

Robin sighed. It was really too easy to make the changeling mad lately. "I didn't mean it like that, you know that."

"Whatever… yeah. Sorry. I just…" Beast Boy looked down. "Here… but be careful with it. It's something really important to me. And please don't be mad."

With that, he handed Robin a notebook. Just that. Robin's eyes widened. Flashbacks of seeing the notebook went through his head. He must have seen it HUNDREDS of times before, but it had never quite registered. Beast Boy had it with him through the entire first year he was with the team, he always seemed to be writing in it… always staring at one of his teammates as he did so.

"A… journal?" he asked.

Beast Boy shook his head. He took a breath and gently took the notebook from Robin, then motioned for everyone to follow him to the dining table. They all sat in their chairs and watched with interest while Beast Boy lay the notebook down facing them, upside down to him.

"This is… something I've been doing since before I can remember. It's not so much as a hobby as a labor of love, so I hope you all like them. I swear I wasn't spying or anything, I just saw things and had to put it down on paper to remember them. Somehow, to me, taking pictures with a camera just doesn't work right."

They all stared at him in awe. What could it be? Then, slowly, he pulled back the cover.

There it was: an exquisite pencil drawing of Starfire, her hair all tied up in hundreds of hair pins from the mall in something resembling a beehive. She was looking at her reflection in the glass and laughing to herself as she kept putting more in. Beast Boy waited tensely for a reaction, and when he got none, turned the page.

Robin and Speedy, holding each other's weapons and smiling, each inspecting the other's arsenal. They were standing in front of the window overlooking the bay, and the entire cityscape was perfectly detailed behind them through very real-looking reflections of them in the glass. Off to the side Starfire and Raven were meditating together, hovering in midair in their Indian-style sitting position. Cyborg was playing video games against the computer, and losing again. Even the slightly redder tint to his skin could be seen in the coloring.

Beast Boy waited – Robin, Raven, Starfire and Cyborg just stared at the pictures. Their expressions were hard to read, as if they were unsure of whether they should be mad or not.

"H-hey… you guys are making me nervous." He admitted, pushing his chair back a little. "If you don't like them I'll put them away and-"

"They're beautiful." Raven said, and Beast Boy looked at her in astonishment. Starfire readily agreed and, smiling, picked up her picture and held it closer to her face to see it better.

"Be careful!" Beast Boy yelped, close to panic. Robin caught his hand as he reached for the paper in an effort to retrieve it. "Those aren't just pictures! They're-"

"A labor of love." Robin finished for him, smiling. "We heard you. We'll be careful with them, okay? Don't worry so much."

"Hey, BB. These are… I can't even describe it! Where did you learn to draw like this?" Cyborg's voice was almost a whisper, as if he were afraid of blowing the papers away.

"I, umm…" the green boy stammered, taking his hand out of Robin's and sitting back in his chair. He didn't attempt to finish his sentence. Partly because he didn't know what to say, but mostly because they were already flipping through his notebook to see the rest of the pictures. Trembling, he watched them, waiting for someone to say something more to him, because he was scared to death they would realize he HAD to have been spying on them to catch some of those poses, especially the angles they were drawn at. Truthfully, he had, but only because he adored them, and wanted something of them for his own to keep when they sent him alone to his room.

Crying alone was hard, but not so much if you had something to remind yourself the people that had hurt you still loved you, if only enough to let you stay. Even if you tended to be annoying.

He ticked off the pictures in his head as they flipped through them one by one. Raven casting a spell, the magic flowing off of her like water from a fountain in shimmery purple waves of dark light. Her hand raised almost as if in prayer, her eyes closed and lips pursed slightly in concentration.

Cyborg walking on the roof with Bumblebee on his back, both of them laughing while they talked of nothing and everything at once in the light of a fading magenta sunset. Off in the distance the clouds were shaped like falcons, a private symbol of freedom and hope to Beast Boy alone.

Gnark, carrying Kole bridal-style through their dense forest. On his back was a large amount of fruit tied up with green leafy vines, and a bundle of wood lay in Kole's arms to light the fire.

Aqualad in an underground cavern of glittering stones, shining like stars with their own energetic light in the damp and dark space. He was laying on his back, looking directly up at the lights and smiling in a way that made him seem unreal… angelic.

Robin, training. Beads of sweat falling down his face, the edges of his mask turned down on his brow as he concentrated through the pain.

Cyborg, talking to Robin on the rocks of the shore at night, nothing but their silhouettes visible.

Robin again. Making tea for Raven after a taxing meditation cycle. She was sitting at the table behind him with her head down, laying on her arms to rest.

Starfire, packing her things to leave for Tamaran on the night before she was to be married. Her bed had been stripped of it's sheets, and they were folded in erratic shapes and set on the threshold of her door: a Tamaranian tradition for a new bride leaving her true family's home for the last time.

Robin again. Standing in front of his radio, the thing turned up so loud that his hair was being flung back by the force of it. His expression was set tightly, trying to ignore the pangs of another lost battle with Slade.

Robin yet again: sitting at the computer console, looking for information on one thing or another.

Robin… and Raven. Reading.

And then, they found the one Beast Boy had been dreading. He turned away when he heard their gasps, and mentally reminded himself every second that he was NOT to look at it.

It was Terra… the stone Terra. She was surrounded by luminescent crystal shards of all shades of the rainbow, as if she were inside a gigantic geode of the finest quartz in existence. Her expression was one of serenity and peace, quite at odds with the pained and twisted one they all knew she really bore in her stone prison. This picture was a dedication of honor to a fallen friend, possibly one of the best friends Beast Boy had ever had. She had actually seemed to like him for who he was, and didn't have to make much of an effort to make him feel happy – really happy.

The mood in the room had changed from interested and awed to sad and empathetic in an instant.

Robin was the first to speak. "Beast Boy… I didn't know you could-"

"Put them away." He almost snapped, then his voice softened. "Please…I don't want to see… please?"

Raven carefully placed them all back in the notebook, and closed it. Robin took it from her and walked over to kneel in front of Beast Boy, who was gripping the arms of his chair so tightly his knuckles had gone white. He was facing away from the table, so that the others couldn't see the wetness in his eyes. Robin saw, and gracefully ignored it for his friend's sake. He knew it wouldn't do well to have Starfire try to console him – none of them knew what he felt and had no right to tell him he shouldn't be in mourning for so long.

"Here." Robin said, placing the notebook in Beast Boy's lap. The younger boy took it back into his arms and hugged it to his chest as if it were his source of life, then slowly took a very deep breath to calm himself. "I can't believe it… you're a spectacular artist, Beast Boy. I just wish I'd paid more attention to it earlier."

He smiled slightly and nodded once in acknowledgement. "I… I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Robin smiled at him. "No problem. Where did you learn that? Those pictures are… research quality. As if they were drawn by a scientist."

"My parents taught me to draw like that. They were both biologists, and preferred to study animals from their pictures rather than locking them up in cages like criminals. I used to draw every day before they died… mother insisted I practice until I got it just right. She'd always told me that I should only draw things that inspire me, and I always have."

Beast Boy's tone was positively haunting. It was frightening in it's finality.

"I think… it's Raven's turn." he stated.

Nobody answered. The game was over.

* * *

That night, Beast Boy woke screaming again. This time, his words were decipherable. Against his will and half asleep, Beast Boy had shouted to everyone in the tower what exactly had happened to him to make him this way. Something long repressed and more traumatic than anything the rest of them had suffered through put together.

Beast Boy had been raped.


	7. Incubus

(Seven pages! Woo:Dances: )

Beast Boy hadn't moved an inch in the past two hours. He was also refusing to speak. This behavior was not a result of stubbornness, it was his way of trying to recover from the shock he'd experienced when he'd woken. He'd been having his nightmares again. This time however, it had gone terribly wrong in his head. Usually all he experienced was the pain and nirvana, and the feeling of being immobile and helpless. Not so on this occasion: he had seen and felt it all vividly as if it were real. Everything. And, for a few paralyzing moments, he had honestly believed it was.

He didn't know who was holding him when he was jolted back to reality, and so naturally he had lashed out to protect himself. Big mistake. Robin had been restraining him by holding his arms down to his sides after seeing how Beast Boy's claws had bared. Now Robin was in the medical room while Cyborg stitched up the slew of claw marks on his shoulders and chest. It had been years since Beast Boy had reacted to someone's touch like that, and though he was mortified that Robin had been injured because of it, he also felt strangely relieved that he still had some fight left in him. He hated himself for hurting Robin, and though he couldn't be blamed in their eyes he certainly could in his own. Robin was only trying to keep Beast Boy from scratching himself any more than he already had, after all. Then on top of that… Robin had refused treatment until the other boy's injuries were taken care of first.

It didn't seem to matter to Robin that it took longer than it should have because Cyborg had to TOUCH him to do it. After half an hour of doing his best to be understanding about the fear that had suddenly developed into a full-on phobia, Cyborg had been forced to give his smaller friend a strong sedative to get the job done. It had been an hour since then, and Robin was still being stitched up.

And that left Beast Boy here, sitting on the couch with his legs drawn up and held as tightly as he could manage, groggy from the shot, in pain because of the self-inflicted gashes all over him, and mulling over his new and very serious situation.

He was dealing with three extremely upsetting things at once: first, he had shouted his sufferings to everyone after so long of keeping it a closely guarded secret – second, he had hurt Robin, the only one that had seemed to really care about him as more than just a team member – and third, now that his secret was out, his friends were going to insist persistently, even cruelly, that he tell them the entire sordid tale.

Even if he were willing and able to tell them, they had no idea how long that would actually take him. Friends or not, this was not something he would readily surrender to them if he could help it. They knew it had happened, that should be more than enough to explain his behavior for the past few months. In his mind they had no right whatsoever to press him for details. It amazed him how they didn't seem to understand his situation. He had already experienced it… to make him relive it by telling them would be ruthless.

Beast Boy cringed and drew back when the door opened and Robin walked in, bandages on his arms and more hidden under his uniform. He fully expected the older boy to be furious with him, so when Robin stopped next to him, Beast Boy recoiled a full three feet down the length of the couch and raised his own bandaged arm to hide his face.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" he started, panicked.

Robin shushed him, trying to calm him down without touching him. "No, it's alright. I knew you were going to scratch me, but I had to stop you from doing it to yourself. I don't care about that…"

But Beast Boy's apologies went on, as if he hadn't heard Robin at all. "…I just didn't know who you were and reacted! Please don't be mad at me, Robin, I couldn't help it! I swear I'll be good-"

"Stop!" Robin yelled, and Beast Boy fell silent immediately, save for the whine. Robin couldn't care less about the scratches, what was killing him was the obvious fact that Beast Boy was truly afraid of him right now. He really believed Robin was going to hit him, or throw him out, or do some other unnecessary thing like that over a few scratches? Then again, after what the little changeling had been through, Robin was sure that most anything would frighten him right about now. When he spoke again, it was only after a very deep breath and careful thought on what tone would be best suited to help his friend feel less threatened. "Beast bo- Garfield, look at me." He said softly. Slowly, the green eyes came into view of his, shining and red around the edges. His arm was still raised, and he looked cautious. Robin smiled at him. He spoke slowly and carefully, so that not a single word would be missed or misunderstood. "I am not mad at you. Understand? I do not care about the scratches. All I want is for you to talk to me about this so I can help you."

Contrary to his tone, Robin was indeed furious. Really, the last time he'd been this angry was when his parents fell to their deaths in the big top. Nothing could have consoled him then, and nothing could now. The second he found out who had hurt his friend he was going to track them down and… do something very unbefitting a hero of his stature. Not that anyone would ever know. One of the benefits of playing hero was that you knew exactly what to look for when trying to solve a crime… therefore you had an uncanny knack for hiding your own perfectly.

Beast Boy was more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for, and that anger, though hidden cleanly from any human observer, was not to be lost on an animal. He knew damn well that Robin was mad enough to kill – every one of his heightened senses was SCREAMING it to him. It was making his hair stand on end and his ears twitched with the feel of it. Not only that, but the SCENT was driving him insane. Fear does have a scent, and it's a lot like the metallic tang of fresh blood… only far too weak for most humans to sense. Beast Boy, having been a long time acquaintance of fear for so long in his short life, knew it well. Problem was, he didn't know that the anger wasn't directed at him.

"Garfield, do you understand me?" Robin asked again, seeing the hesitation on Beast Boy's answer.

The changeling shook his head and whispered, "…I'm sorry…"

"Didn't I just say that I'm not mad at you?" Robin huffed gently. "You're not in trouble. I promise. I just want you to talk to me-"

"-and tell you who raped me so you can go out blood soaked and honor bound to take revenge? No thanks. And there's no point in lying to me about how you feel, Robin. You ARE mad. I can SMELL it." He snapped, then covered his mouth with both hands and looked away.

Robin sighed, then slowly – very slowly – reached over to lay his hand lightly over Beast Boy's injured arm. When he wasn't pushed away, he sat down next to him, but far enough away not to make him nervous. "I said I wasn't mad at YOU, not that I wasn't mad at all. How could I not be upset that someone took advantage of you? You're my friend, and I swear I won't rest until I make them pay for it. You don't have to be afraid of me, Garfield. Don't ever be afraid of me."

Beast Boy whimpered and pulled his arm away from Robin's hand. It didn't hurt, it just felt WRONG when anyone touched him now. "You can't do anything about it, Robin. They're beyond the law now."

Robin clenched his fists to help control his voice. "They?"

Beast Boy shook his head and lay down, suddenly feeling very, very tired. "I know you want me to tell you everything, but you'll just have to wait. I need to get used to the idea that you all know before I can really talk about it. Some of it I don't know myself, I was too young to really remember everything in too much detail. All I can tell you right now is this: It wasn't just one time and one person. It was four different people, and each of them was controlling me over a very long period of time. The last time it happened was no more than two days before you guys finally let me join, and the first was a month after my parents died when I was barely seven. Revenge is out of the question: all of them are dead… so it doesn't matter if I tell you sooner rather than later because there's nothing any of you can do about it now."

Robin was literally SHAKING with rage by now, his fists clenched so tightly that his gloves had ripped open in the sides. He knew he should say something, but he knew that if he tried to talk he'd end up shouting, and that was the absolute last thing that Beast Boy needed right now. The green boy looked up wearily from his place on the couch, and gave Robin an empathetic smile.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" he asked wryly.

"What..?" Robin managed through clenched teeth.

"Feeling so helpless."

Robin glared at him. He didn't understand why, but suddenly he was furious at Beast Boy too. Before his impulses got the better of him, Robin turned and strode out of the room, slamming the door so hard he almost broke it, leaving Beast Boy to deal with the others on his own.

Even though he'd already explained himself as far as he was able at the moment, they were already asking questions. Ten minutes into ignoring them and shaking his head every time they asked him something, Beast Boy decided he'd had more than enough. He hadn't moved since Robin had left, but now he sat up and growled at them all threateningly, baring his fangs clearly. His eyes glowed yellow as he glared.

"Go. Away." He snarled. "I already said I'm not telling you anything!"

Amazingly, they did, whispering to each other about how they were just trying to help and he was out of line. Before she left, Raven turned around and stared at him with her creepy blank expression.

"You know, just because you can't tell us doesn't mean you can't tell Robin."

Beast Boy shook his head, exhausted and close to tears. "He's mad at me."

"Because he thinks you don't trust him." She pointed out.

Thinking hard, Beast Boy soon came up with a very sad conclusion… "I don't. I don't trust anyone. I don't think I can."

She gave a slight smile, and then shook her head indulgently. "You can, you just don't know how." Then she left.

As soon as they were all gone, Beast Boy stopped holding back and let himself cry.

* * *

Robin had gone directly to the roof after what he'd heard. Cyborg had forbidden him to enter the training room for medical reasons because he didn't want the stitches to rip, and Robin had grudgingly agreed tot hat term. Now he had nothing to do but try to figure this out and keep himself calm. It was going to be difficult to do both of those things at once though, so he resigned himself to go over everything he knew so far and THEN try to calm down. First of all, he had to get the events of this morning through his head. Carefully controlling his breathing, Robin closed his eyes and tried to remember every detail of it.

_Screams… horrible screams. He knew it was Beast Boy immediately, so he leapt out of bed and shot down the hall to wake him from his nightmares. When he got there, Starfire was already trying her code on the door with no success, and Robin shoved her roughly out of the way to enter his own. It opened far too slow for his liking, and squeezed his way through it the instant the opening was big enough for him._

_Not only was Beast Boy screaming and thrashing about wildly, but his claws were bared. He was mauling himself in an attempt to push whatever was assaulting him in his dreams away from him. Robin did the only thing he could think of to stop it – he grabbed his friend and pinned his arms to his sides, keeping a hold on the smaller boy's hands tight enough to make his gloves cut into his wrists. _

_It was at that moment it happened… Beast Boy started to shout at his assailant._

"_LET GO OF ME! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME YOU FUCKING PERVERT! GET OFF!"_

_Robin's voice joined the shouting, begging his friend to wake up. Cyborg was yelling too… he'd just arrived on the scene and was demanding to know what was going on. Starfire was calling for Raven, asking her to make Beast Boy's dreams to stop hurting him. Raven… wasn't there._

_Beast Boy's voice rose to an inhuman pitch as the nightmare progressed, dwarfing his friend's voices easily. "YOU'RE HURTING ME! STOP IT! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! PULL IT OUT! NOOO!"_

_Robin pleaded one last time for Beast Boy to wake up, and an instant later, he did. Robin, relieved that his friend was finally aware, loosed his grip just enough for Beast Boy to wrench his way free. The smaller boy's claws lashed out at Robin on instinct, making two clean passes over his chest and shoulders before Robin managed to push away. Now there were twenty single lines of red trailing down his torso, each one flooding with blood. Robin, pained and surprised, backed up enough so that he tumbled off the bed. Beast Boy, still caught up in the after-effects of his nightmare, backed up too – still trying to evade his tormenter. _

_The scene went deafeningly silent, all present shocked by what had just happened. Seconds went by with no movement, then suddenly Starfire registered Robin's injuries and shrieked. That brought everyone back to reality, and Cyborg grabbed onto the Tamaranian and held her close for fear that she may attack Beast Boy for what he'd done. Robin and Beast Boy locked gazes, and the changeling came back to reality so slowly Robin could literally see it in the change of color in his eyes._

"_R-Robin? What did I do… what..?" he stammered. Soon, everything he saw sank in and he gasped. "What did I say?"_

_Robin had just begun to process it himself. What Beast Boy had said was… it wasn't just suggestive, it was a billboard. There was no possible way to mistake what he'd meant. "Beast Boy… you were…"_

_"No! You weren't supposed to know! You weren't..." Beast Boy's denials died on his tongue. There was no point to them now. It was too late... much too late. Tears running down his face, Beast Boy collapsed onto his bed and cried fiercely._

Beast Boy had refused to move after that, hadn't spoken or stopped crying. Cyborg had tried to carry him to the medical room, but at the instant of physical contact Beast Boy had fought and screamed as if he were being murdered. Starfire tried next with the same result. Eventually, Robin tried after Cyborg had stopped the bleeding on his chest, and for some reason Beast Boy reacted much less violently to Robin than he had to the others. He was able to get him there without too much effort, and watched while Cyborg gave him a shot to stop him from fighting any more. Robin had allowed Beast Boy to be taken care of first. He had more scratches than Robin anyway, and the sedative wasn't one meant to last very long.

Robin sighed, opening his eyes and looking out over the city. He was out of commission now too, at least until his wounds healed shut. Cyborg wouldn't allow him to fight for at least a week. Robin smiled weakly at that. That was exactly why Robin had put Cyborg in charge of the Teen Titan's medical needs… not because he knew it better than anyone else, but because he would have made someone an excellent mother. He had the authority to declare anyone unfit to fight, at any time and for most any reason. Each one of them definitely owed him their lives in that respect.

Sometimes it is possible to be too angry to fight, Robin knew that all too well.

Thinking carefully now, Robin ticked off what he knew in his head. Beast Boy had been raped, by several men, all of whom had control over him for long periods of time… possibly years at a stretch. None of them could be his father or adoptive father, Robin knew that for a fact. He spoke of his biological parents so fondly that it couldn't have been his father, and he would have noticed if any sexual tension had been going on between Beast Boy and any of the Doom Patrol when they'd met. It must have been going on between the death of Beast Boy's parents and his adoption by Elastigirl and her husband.

Robin winced. As far as he knew, that gap was at the very least six years. He hoped that it hadn't been the entire time, prayed that it wasn't. But then again, a lone child is an extremely easy target. Especially one that looked so unusual. He couldn't blend into the crowd to get away, it wasn't possible for him to hide for very long unless he used his powers… and Robin had no idea how long Beast Boy had even been aware and able to use them.

He hated himself for it, but he wished that whoever these men were, that they were really alive somewhere so he could kill them himself.

"Fuck…" he grumbled to himself. He really didn't know a lot did he? Nothing except that Beast Boy had been hurt, and it was possible it could kill him if something wasn't done very, very soon.

"Robin?"

The voice startled him, and he turned around too quickly. He winced and put his hand up to rub at his bandages. Starfire stood behind him, looking teary-eyed and worried sick. "Yeah, Star?"

"Are you… alright? How does it feel?" she asked, referring to his wounds.

He smiled at her. "I'm not the one we should be worried about, Star." He said calmly. "Beast Boy needs help, I just don't know exactly how I'm supposed to help him."

She looked down and bit her lip, then walked over and sat next to him. "Friend Beast Boy needs… he needs to be taught what it is he is denying himself."

Robin lifted an eyebrow at her. "Come again?"

"This." She clarified, and ran her fingers up Robin's arm. "He fears it because he does not know how good it can be. I have seen that you are the only one who can touch him without so much fear, so you are already going the right way."

"What are you trying to tell me, Star?" Robin asked. He knew it, he just didn't think that was the right answer. Touch Beast Boy? Like that? After all he'd been through? Not right. He couldn't, and he may end up hurting him more. A familiar sound of displacing air rang to his other side, and Robin looked over into Raven's eyes.

"She means that you need to gain his trust, and teach him about touch personally. Not necessarily sexual, just that he doesn't have to be afraid to let people touch him. He has to learn at his own pace what can come after." She explained.

Okay… that made more sense.

"I just don't feel right trying to touch him." Robin sighed. "He pulls away so quickly… like it's hurting him just to make contact. I don't know if I can help him. But I will try."

They smiled at him, Raven nodding.

"You should go see him now." Starfire stated.

Robin cocked his head to the side. "Now? Why?"

Raven helped him stand and ran her hands slowly over his chest to stem some of the pain. "Because he's thinking things that I don't like at all. I can't sense what exactly, but it's only making him more upset. Go help him keep his mind off it for a while. Do you think you can do that?"

Worried, Robin headed for the door. "Thanks!"

"No Problem."


	8. The Masks we Wear

(They get kind of distracted for a while in this chapter. Don't know why, it just happened. )

"_You should go see him now." Starfire stated._

_Robin cocked his head to the side. "Now? Why?"_

_Raven helped him stand and ran her hands slowly over his chest to stem some of the pain. "Because he's thinking things that I don't like at all. I can't sense what exactly, but it's only making him more upset. Go help him keep his mind off it for a while. Do you think you can do that?"_

_Worried, Robin headed for the door. "Thanks!"_

"_No Problem."_

The door slammed shut, and the two alien girls looked at one another worriedly.

"Do you truly believe Robin can help Beast Boy?" Starfire asked. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, just that the episode that morning had instilled a fear in her that Beast Boy was traumatized beyond repair. She had never seen so frantic a look in the eyes of her green friend. He had been totally convinced that Robin was going to hurt him, and had ended up attacking him instead. She was also afraid Robin may get attacked again if he went too far too quickly. It wouldn't be wise to attempt going right back to the way they had been months ago, when Robin could ruffle Beast Boy's hair and the smaller boy would just laugh it off.

Raven searched inside herself a moment to find the truest answer. She may as well be totally honest with her friend, regardless of her wish to deaden the sorrow. It would only insult Starfire's intelligence to keep anything away from her – and the Tamaranian WAS extremely intelligent, just not in the common sense of the word. The Gothic girl took a deep breath while she searched, then let it out slowly before letting her lips form the words. "I think…" she began cautiously, "that if Robin can't help him, then no one can."

"I was afraid you would say that." Starfire sighed. "There is nothing we can do, is there?"

"No."

"What are our options on informing his parents?" she asked. Raven was confused a moment, then her eyes grew wider.

"If his adoptive parents don't know, then we won't tell them. That's Beast Boy's responsibility. If they call for him, I suggest we ask him if he wants to take the call. If he doesn't, just tell them he isn't feeling well and he'll get back to them when he can. It's true enough." Raven explained.

Starfire nodded. "I will tell Cyborg. I agree, Raven. This knowledge is not to leave this tower without Beast Boy's consent, no matter who is the one asking."

"Be careful how you explain it to Cyborg, Starfire. He isn't one to take bad news laying down."

* * *

Robin thought hard as he made his way down the stairs to the community room. He was honestly afraid of trying this. Not because of the possibility that Beast Boy might lash out at him again, but because he didn't know if it would work. Living with the knowledge of failing a friend in need is not something he wanted to experience again. Wincing, he thought back to the picture of Terra… the care Beast Boy must have taken to illustrate such a magnificent likeness of her… and how much he must have hurt himself to pull up enough memories of her to do it.

If Beast Boy was brave enough to pull off a stunt like that, then Robin could certainly put up enough effort to help the changeling with his fears.

Halfway there, Robin heard the familiar sobbing through the hall. They were quiet, halting tones, and from far away one might even have thought that Beast Boy was singing. He put on some speed and made it to the door in record time, then paused short of knocking. The sound had stopped… Beast Boy had heard him coming. It must have taken a lot of effort to just stop in the middle of a fit like that. Robin smiled a bit and shook his head before knocking on the door.

"I TOLD you, Cy I'm not telling you any-" Beast Boy started venomously. His tone startled Robin, and the older teen found himself defending his presence before Beast Boy could even finish speaking.

"It's me, Beast Boy." Just after he'd spoken, Robin realized he had made a very good decision in identifying himself before Beast Boy could start shouting. He knew those two well enough to recognize a fighting tone. "Can I come in? I swear I'm not going to try and interrogate you. I just want to talk."

Beast Boy didn't answer for a moment, and Robin heard him moving about, possibly sitting up on the couch. There was a short pause in the movement, during which Robin heard the other panting. He wasn't sure if it was from exhaustion or pain. "About what..?"

"Anything. I figured you could use a distraction. Does that sound alright?" Robin waited patiently for a reply. Nearly a minute went by before he recognized a small sound of consent. Opening the door as soundlessly as he could, Robin walked into the room and sat on the couch, far enough away to keep the smaller teen from getting fidgety. "I'm sorry for storming out like that. You're not the one I'm angry with."

Beast Boy looked at him blankly for a moment, then tilted his head. "Maybe you should meditate with Raven if you're having trouble keeping up with your emotions." He suggested, the corners of his mouth turning up minutely.

Robin shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. Did you see what happened to the training room yet?" Beast Boy shook his head. "She DEMOLISHED it while you were in the medical room. Apparently she lied when she said she didn't like you."

Finally, Beast Boy laughed. It was short and not very heartfelt, but it was there and real. "I guess it's my animal magnetism. Chicks go for it."

Robin couldn't help but laugh. Bragging already? Damn… THAT was impressive.

"Dude! What's that for?" He demanded, steaming, ears twitching in irritation.

"Sorry… you're cute. You don't mean to be, but you are." He ignored the mumbled denials and moved a bit closer, smiling when he got no reaction. Beast Boy hadn't noticed. Good. Now if he could just get closer. "You want to play a game? I bet I can beat your score."

"Nah. You suck at the games I like best. It's no contest." Beast Boy watched with growing amusement how Robin's eyebrow twitched, but he didn't argue. Playing Cyborg nonstop had it's advantages. Robin may be able to beat Beast Boy in everything else, but when the games came on Robin was forced quite often to eat his words. "Why don't you put in one of your movies? I don't think I need much more excitement today."

Robin crossed his arms in defense. "Shakespeare is exciting." He stated. It was really, if you paid enough attention to understand the story. Incest, murder, intrigue, the world of fairies and a slew of dead kings... Compared to the best (or worst) of Shakespeare, Steven King looked like Dr. Seuss.

"Nope. I can't understand a word they're saying, and fall asleep halfway through."

"So you want me to put in a movie that'll make you fall asleep..?" That didn't sound right. Beast Boy's dreams had been the trigger for all of this mess.

"I don't think I'll have any more dreams if you stay in here with me.."

Robin nodded, choosing to ignore the slightly edgy tone his friend had used. Did he think Robin wouldn't stay? Or that he'd make fun of him for needing a friend to keep him company? Whatever the reason, he was going to do what Beast Boy wanted.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later…

* * *

"Dude… you've got to be kidding. Now they're BOTH chasing after Helena? Hermia must be totally pissed by now."

Robin snickered. So much for sleep. They were watching "A Midsummer Night's Dream", and Beast Boy was more of a Shakespeare fan than Robin had thought possible. Maybe he'd just chosen the right play. Beast Boy had a knack for drama, whether it be his own or others', and was really into the plot of the story. Having memorized most of Shakespeare's entire works, Robin had to hold his tongue so he wouldn't start to point out what was about to happen next. Something told him spoilers would not be welcome, even though most of the planet already knew this story. Beast Boy had the "Odyssey" in his room, but he doubted he'd ever actually read the darned thing… or any other book for that matter.

Once again, he reminded himself to ask Beast Boy when and where he had procured books.

"So now what're they gonna- DUDE! A CAT-FIGHT! AW, now they're in the MUD! GET HER, HERMIA!" Beast Boy laughed, honestly cheerful. "Robin, what's this called again?"

"A Midsummer Night's Dream." He stated, smiling. "I thought you didn't like Shakespeare? Something about not understanding the way they talk?" Beast Boy laughed for a bit longer at the fierce battle between girls rolling around in the mud in their underwear and corsets, then turned to Robin.

"I don't understand what they're saying but, Dude! Girls fighting in the mud? Love potions? A guy gets turned into a donkey then makes it with the fairy QUEEN? This stuff is awesome! …is that bitch making fun of Hermia for being SHORT? ARG!" Beast Boy turned back to the screen and didn't look away until the story was over, pointedly ignoring Robin – the guy just couldn't stop laughing at how much Beast Boy identified with Nick Bottom. As the credits rolled, Beast Boy sat back and closed his eyes. He looked tired, but happy. "Thanks Robin. I feel better."

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd." Robin replied automatically. He smiled at the ensuing confusion.

"What?"

"You're welcome." He clarified, choosing not to explain. (If you want to know, look it up. )

"You know, these are just REALLY old soap operas." Beast Boy giggled to himself.

"And I suppose you also believe that Michelangelo's art is just soft core renaissance porn?"

"Yup!"

"Oh, of all the- Beast Boy, your wrist!" One of the lacerations on Beast Boy's wrist had opened up while he was flailing his arms about cheering for the movie. It was leaking thick crimson fluid all the way down his arm past his elbow. At the first word from Robin, Beast Boy seemed to have JUST noticed the pain. He looked at it and blanked for a moment, just staring placidly. "Stay here. I'll go get Cyborg and he can-"

"NO!" Beast Boy voiced in a startled yelp.

"…" Robin was taken aback. He knew that he didn't want to be touched, but this was an emergency. "Well, someone has to do it!" he protested. "Just let Cyborg fix it, Beast Boy. It's just on your wrist. He won't have to touch you anywhere else, I promise."

"Not Cyborg." The green boy was whispering now. Robin stopped. Beast Boy was shaking… badly. His head was bowed and eyes focused on his knees. "Please, Robin? Can't… you do it?"

"…he really scared you, didn't he?" Robin remembered how much Beast Boy was writhing and crying before Cyborg had sedated him. Beast Boy was begging, backing away as far as the restraints would allow him. No matter where Cyborg made contact, it elicited a sharp cry and more pleas to be left alone. It had taken about ten minutes of slow torture before the larger man had consented to drug him.

"Can you make it? You've lost a lot of blood already. I don't think it's a good idea for you to walk. At this point I'm amazed you can even sit up without getting dizzy." Robin pointed out. It was true… he looked ready to pass out.

"No… could you bring the kit down here? I don't think I can walk."

Robin sighed. "I can't do it here. It's not sanitary, you could get an infection. I can't give you any more antibiotics than Cyborg already has. We don't know how your system will react to it." Beast Boy's whimper had a powerful effect on Robin's decision though. Normally he wouldn't have consented, but… "Don't start that again…" he soothed gently. "I'll figure it out, don't worry. Do you think I could carry you, or would that be too much?"

Beast Boy paused, fidgeting uncomfortably. Robin didn't scare him so much as the others, but still… it wasn't welcome at all. It wasn't really a choice though. He wasn't getting to the medical room any other way, and his only other option was waiting for Cyborg to drag him up there by force. He shivered. Oh, hell no.

"Okay…" he voiced, extremely subdued.

Robin let out a breath of relief. "Thank you, Beast Boy. I know this is hard for you but.-"

"My name isn't Beast Boy." He grumbled. "I want my friend to use my name."

Robin was dumbstruck. "I… have been using it. Just not too often. I thought you didn't like it?"

"I don't like Raven or Cy hearing it… they make fun of me. And it's always about that damned cat too… But you never do, so I think… I'd like it if you called me Garfield." He was still looking at his knees, but the unsure tone spoke volumes to Robin. There was no way he could turn him down.

"I… thank you. Garfield, you trusting me to use your name is… it means a lot. Would you look at me?" He reached out and touched Garfield's shoulder, but the smaller teen shook his head.

"I can't." he spat. "You're always wearing that fucking mask."

True. So true it hurt. No one outside of Wayne Manor had seen his eyes in years. He didn't even take the time to look at them in the mirror anymore. Protecting your identity was one thing but this… was more of a denial. Garfield was right. It was time to take it off… if only for a moment.

Robin reached down and took Beast Boy's hands into his own, ignoring the squeak and feeling of warm blood on his fingers. Surprised, Beast Boy didn't fight as Robin pulled the smaller teen's hands up to his face and put them over his mask. Beast Boy gasped, trying to pull his hands down, eyes wide.

"It's alright. You can do it." Robin coaxed, smiling.

Trembling, Garfield carefully took hold of the thin black mask… and pulled it off. His actions were rewarded with the sight of the most gorgeous blue eyes he'd ever seen.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Garfield Logan." This new and amazingly kind-looking young man said. "My name is Richard Grayson."


	9. Guardian Wars

(Okay, I know this is really, really short. You'll all have to forgive me, I'm being taught by Professor Snape this month, and he has possession of my very soul until this cursed class is over.)

Tick, tick, tick.

It was driving him insane. Why Robin had anything other than a digital clock was completely beyond him. Not that he had a right to criticize in that area, being the owner of an alarm clock that looked exactly like Mambo. Still, it was funny the first time a teammate saw it, the way their eyebrows seemed to want to jump right off their face. He smiled a little, but it quickly died and he lay down and sighed with irritation. Beast Boy was on Robin's bed, waiting for the other teen to finish whatever he was doing behind that closed door. If he wasn't so grateful to him for being so nice to then Beast Boy might have made an off-color joke about the fact that his leader had holed himself up in his closet.

"Dude, are you done yet?" he whined, purposely off-key. Usually that got him what he wanted from the other Titan, but all he got was a few chuckles at his expense. "What the hell are you DOING in there anyways?"

"You'll see in a minute. Be patient, Gar. Change into something with an attention span of more than five minutes." Robin's reply was muffled through the door, but Beast Boy could just HEAR his smirk. If he hadn't been annoyed with Robin before, he sure was now.

"I'll bet Starfire doesn't spend this much time getting dressed." He mumbled.

"Starfire wears about half what we do, doesn't she? Incidentally, do you think it's weird that I'm the only one on this team that wears hot colors? Everyone else has black or blue, purple or silver. I'm in red and green."

"Not to be mean or anything, oh fearless leader, but working with Batman in that costume is like stamping a giant "DECOY" on your ass. Not only that, but that sounded a little girly to me, SIR." Beast Boy mocked.

"I HATE it when you call me that!" came the sharp reply, making Beast Boy's grin go even further.

"Hence the aforementioned action."

"Stop hanging out with Cyborg so much, you're picking up language way beyond your comprehension level, kid."

KID? Oh, fuck it. The bird was going down for that one. This situation called for a level of maliciousness that he hadn't displayed in months. Growling, Beast Boy pulled out his communicator and dialed Cyborg's extension. The instant he heard the metal man answer he made an enormous effort to look pathetic and whined out, "Cyyyyy! Robin won't come out of the cloooseeet!"

Cyborg laughed hysterically for a fraction of a second before he heard Robin's lude protest and hung up with a grin, leaving Beast Boy to deal with his punishment. Robin, dressed only in black tights, threw the door open and tackled the smaller teen to the bed and wrestled the communicator away from him.

"You are such a BRAT!" he growled.

Beast Boy snickered. "OOH! That was harsh. Hn! Not so hard, that hurts…"

Robin immediately let up, releasing the bandaged shoulders carefully. He winced empathetically. "Sorry, but you shouldn't use the communicators like that. Besides… I'm not gay."

"Of course not." Beast Boy agreed cheerfully. "You're a perfectly normal teenager."

"Exactly."

"In black spandex tights."

"In black span-… :pause: …you're a brat."

"Maybe so, but the brat has a valid point."

"And purple latex is sooo much better?" he asked cheekily, grinning at the flustered look he was rewarded with for his effort.

"I didn't get to PICK my costume!" Beast Boy countered.

"Hmmm. Touché." He smiled. "But I get to pick this time, and from what Starfire told me before, I have a pretty good idea of what I want."

Beast Boy opened his mouth to speak, but a shrill noise interrupted him. Beast Boy paled, and Robin blinked in surprise.

"That… wasn't our communicator…" Robin said slowly.

Biting back his 'Duh', Beast Boy cautiously pulled out his Doom Patrol communicator. "Hello?" he stammered.

Mento's voice replied instantly. "Beast Boy, why haven't you been fighting with your team!" he demanded. "I've been monitoring you, and you haven't left the tower in over a month! This is not how a team operates! If you were still with the Doom Patrol I'd have you doing drills until you dropped! If you can't do your job then you shouldn't even be ON a team much less allowed to-"

By that time Robin had snatched the thing away from a very upset changeling and started a rant of his own.

"Well, he's NOT with the Doom Patrol anymore, Mento, and from what I see going on I can fucking tell why! The way you treat him, I would have left too! I may not be as experienced as you are, but at least I don't treat my team like cannon fodder! Being a hero does in no way make you a good person or a decent human being, much less a good father figure! I've seen the results of your 'drills' with Garfield! There are scars on him that would make Madame Rouge cringe! Training is one thing, but what you did to him is nothing less than child abuse! Garfield is on MY team now, and you have no say in anything that goes on in his life anymore, so back the fuck off and find someone else to torture!"

Mento had gone quiet, seeming at a loss for words. Beast Boy was shocked and sat panting and confused on the bed, waiting tensely for what was going to happen next. Than Mento's voice came again, and what he said made Beast Boy's blood run cold.

"You aren't his legal guardian, Robin." Mento hissed. "Rita and I will be at Titan Tower in three days to take him home. Mento out."

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Beast Boy pleaded desperately, but Mento had already broken the connection. "STEVE, NO!"

Robin, furious, shattered the communicator. "We'll figure it out… don't worry. I'll fix this and… Garfield? Garfield!"

But Beast Boy couldn't hear him. He'd fainted.


	10. Batman

Gotham was quiet tonight, so quiet that Batman had to wonder why he was even out. Everyone even remotely dangerous that he could think of was in Arkham, at least to the best of his knowledge, and the worst he could hope to capture tonight was an occasional rogue mugger. Sighing, he touched the device suspended in his mask just over his ear to check in with his Arkham contact. There was a soft yelp of surprise when the man heard his voice. Probably woke him up, poor guy.

"Alert me to anything unusual." He stated simply in that grating, commanding tone of his.

"R-right…" came the nervous reply. He sounded tired… definitely woke him up. Oh, well.

Batman touched the device again and started his engine, driving off into the dark alleys he had memorized so well. His contact would tell him if he heard anything around the asylum in his conversations with the other inmates. Having a prisoner under your wing is a definite advantage over randomly chasing after criminals that have already escaped. It had been a few months since the last breakout thanks to his contact, now he was rounding up the usual offenders at the very gates of the asylum instead of chasing after them long after they had managed to escape.

The man was doing so well for him. Perhaps he should pay him a visit and show him some appreciation. It wasn't like Batman couldn't navigate the inside of Arkham like his own cave… as many times as he'd had to break in and OUT of the damned place.

Maybe Lock-up had made a valid point when he'd referred to Arkham as a revolving door for the criminals of Gotham…

"BATMAN!"

He nearly swerved and ran off the road. Cursing, he picked up the dinky little Teen Titans communicator that Robin had just INSISTED he carry with him at all times. Mentally he made a note to crush the silly thing and toss it into Arkham's moat on his way inside. Or at the very least paint it black… with a silver bat sign… and put more buttons on it…

"What is it, Robin?" he drawled. He knew his adopted son's voice well. He had already determined from that one word that this wasn't a life-or-death thing, merely something incredibly important to a teenager. God only knows what that could be, especially at this time of the… morning. Oops… better tell Alfred to let him sleep in.

"Beast Boy's father… I mean adoptive father… Mento Man… is going to make him leave the Teen Titans!" Robin stammered.

Robin never stammered… something was very wrong.

"Calm down Robin. Why is this such a bad thing? Explain to me why you're so upset." Batman stated calmly. His tone was the same, but the words said everything. Good thing Robin knew how to read between the lines when it came to Bruce's tone.

Robin's side went quiet for a few seconds while he composed himself, then the voice returned, better controlled but still slightly frantic. "Beast Boy is sick. He's in no condition to fight. He hasn't been for weeks now. Mento Man says that he's useless to us if he can't fight, so he's going to take him back for more training. Beast Boy is NOT going with him! Mento Man may be a hero, but that does NOT make him a good person, or a good Father. His idea of training is above OUR level. Beast Boy can't take it. He's only fifteen! Not only that, but I have a very strong suspicion that Mento is abusing his powers with Beast Boy. I've tried to get him to talk about it but he just zones out."

"Are you absolutely certain, Robin? Do you realize how bad this could be if you're wrong?"

"Yes! I know, just... I can't lose him. He's made so much progress in the past few years. You should have seen him when he first got here. He recognized me as the leader, and automatically assumed he had to answer to me for even the smallest things. It took me two weeks to get him to stop calling me 'Sir'. And the first few training sessions..." At this point Robin trailed off, then seemed to gather his wits once again. When he spoke again, it sounded strained. "He acted like he seriously expected me to hurt him. Like I was purposely going to knock him into the line of fire. He wouldn't even talk to me unless what he needed had something to do with work - and when the rest of us started to play games or watch movies together he just... froze. Like he didn't know what to do. But he's been so GOOD lately... He was doing so well... until the nightmares started again. Batman... Dad, please?"

"I'll be there by dawn." he growled. He didn't like the sound of this. The signs were all there, and he needed to help this kid fast.

Robin seemed to calm infinitely, sobered by the words. "They won't be here for another two days... Don't leave the city unprotected for that long."

"I have it covered. Try to get some sleep, Robin. I'll handle this."

"Thanks... I really can't say how much this means..."

"Sleep. Batman, out."

With that, he turned toward Jump City.

* * *

Robin sighed and shook his head. Beast Boy had quickly developed a fever after his fainting spell, and it wasn't looking good. It wasn't looking terribly bad, but definitely not good.

"Where did you go?" Beast Boy rasped weakly when he noticed Robin was back. He felt the cool cloth on his face and nearly purred, leaning into it gratefully.

"I've called a friend. He should be able to help." Robin whispered. "Try not to move too much, okay? You're sore enough already - you don't need to stretch your stitches."

Beast Boy struggled to sit up anyway, earning a growl and reluctant help from the other. Once up, he took the glass of water off the bedside table and downed it quickly. "Who...?" he questioned. When ROBIN calls in favors, you never know who you're going to get. Believe it or not, he had actually gotten Superman to come down and compete strength with Starfire. The competition had eventually made it's way in to space, where Superman had to grudgingly admit he'd been matched equally by a teenage girl.

"You'll see when he gets here." Robin tsk'ed, filling the glass up again.

It wasn't enough for Beast Boy. "Dude... come on." he whined.

"Promise you'll stay calm." the older boy demanded. Beast Boy nodded, waiting. Robin sighed and seemed to think hard for a moment or two, then whispered a name Beast Boy hadn't heard in months.

He gawked. "Are... are you serious? He... Batman's actually coming here?"

"Yes, and he's promised to help. See? You don't need to worry so much." Robin soothed, trying to force the changeling to lie down again. Beast Boy was resisting, and he growled at him. "You need your rest, Garfield. Lay down."

"Just... a minute, please? I mean... how is he going to help? Mento's a wicked jealous guy. He hates competition, and he's prepared to do anything within his power to win." Beast Boy explained. He remembered lots of things from his younger days... when Mento had just begun to train him. He could still feel the bite of the blows to his skin, the dull throb in his head after the man had finished rooting through his mind like a parasite. He shuddered. "He's dangerous when he doesn't get his way."

"I wish you would tell me how you know all this, Gar."

There was a long pause, then... Garfield whined. "I know because he treated me like bait. No matter what the battle, the opponent, the training... I was always the distraction. I was expendable. And if Rita hadn't looked out for me as much as she did, I would have died dozens of times. Mento treated us all like cannon fodder, and he would always act the classic leader - hiding behind the first wave of soldiers to make the glory kill after we'd done all the dirty work."

"I know that." Robin said, surprising the other boy. "What else?"

"If you want to know anything else at this point you'll have to ask Rita." Beast Boy suddenly snapped. "I'm tired."

"Told ya'." Robin smirked. "Moody-ness aside, thanks for that bit. You're trusting me a little more, aren't you?"

"Am I?" Beast Boy wondered out loud. Robin tucked him in when he finally lay down. "How can you tell?"

Robin smiled and shook his head indulgently. "Would you have told me that even yesterday?"

Beast Boy didn't answer... he just sniffed and closed his eyes.


End file.
